Guy Ladybugs

I feel bad for guy ladybugs. I imagine that their culture is either female dominated with a bunch of momma’s boys fluttering around or they are the toughest guy bugs around because they have been getting crap from day one.

            Eventually, most of us learn to appreciate our names. That is probably what happens with guy ladybugs, but not before a tumultuous adolescence. One day, when they are older, they probably come to the conclusion that there are more important things to care about. I imagine that it would be similar to a human guy with the last name Poopydoodoo.

            With a name like Poopydoodoo, he would be sure to catch laughs in the classroom, and would constantly have to defend his honor on the playground. Kids can be cruel. With a name like Poopydoodoo, he’d always be a target. No matter how hard he could kick a kickball, how good he was at four square, or tetherball, or math, or drawing, everyday he would encounter the issue of something bringing up his name mockingly. When you’re a kid, it’s hard sometimes to understand why people don’t get you.

            After a while, young Poopydoodoo would start to wonder if he even understood why somebody would have a name like his. So, he would ask his Grandfather the why question. His Grandfather would tell him, “It's about time you knew. Your Great Grandfather was an Icelandic man named Peter Bjorganjorgan.  Everyone in the homeland called him Poppy. His greatest dream was to come to America. On the boat ride here, he learned what little English he could. Before he got to Ellis Island, he decided to ask the first American he met for work. When the immigration official inquired of his name, he had no clue what he was being asked, but nonetheless responded, “Poppy do! Poppy do do!” Apparently, Poppy thought the word “do” was synonymous with work. The overtired, overworked immigration official thought nothing of it and registered your Great Grandfather as Mr. Poopydoodoo.”

            I am sure that after a sit down like that, the young boy would despise his name a little less. He should. I mean, it is a silly name, and they should have changed it two generations ago, but his Great Grandfather didn’t care what people called him, he was just glad to be in America.

            Guy ladybugs should take a lesson from the Poopydoodoo family. They should be more excited about their features than concerned about their name. Those little bugs have a ton of things rolling in their favor. First thing rolling in their favor: Easy, gift of flight. Second thing rolling in their favor: Hard shell Lamborghini doors. Third thing rolling in their favor: Humans don’t try to spray you with things or stomp on you. Talk about the insect’s burden, try being a soft-spoken, well-behaved, donates to charity, would rather stay home this weekend and finish Catcher in the Rye(he’s been meaning to get to it for years), keeps to himself SPIDER. AHHHHH! WHERE?! KILL HIM!