Devine Design

The other day, while in my parent's shed, I had a design epiphany. I knew what my design aesthetic would be for the rest of my life; whatever spider's hate.
        I want to know which colors make spiders quiver. My wife's nails will be painted these colors. Those are the exact colors that my children's bedrooms will be painted. If the suit I choose is not one of these colors, you know my tie will be. and verse visa.
        Are there specific octaves that cause spider migraines? My favorites bands will be determined by whether or not they play these sounds. I will buy cases of kazoos that play one of these octaves. On Halloween, I will pass out these kazoos to all of the kid's in my neighborhood.
        Is there a certain shape that spider's can't stand, a shape so hideous that they won't live in the same house with people who love these shapes. Sorry, pideys, I just could not resist these sectagonal bifocals and this triangular television simply completed the room. Sure, these pentagonal sneakers are killing my arch but at least i'll never have to squish a spider in them.
        Basically, the foundation of my design aesthetic is to live life without fear. In my dream home, I will never have to check underneath the toilet seat before I sit down to lay cable. Of course I want an Eames chair, but if my furniture isn't scientifically proven to reduce the number of spiders I eat during sleep, then it doesn't make the cut. And yes, if you come over wearing spider-friendly trends, I will offer you an alternative outfit and gladly incinerate the one you brought.